Beautiful in the Lord's Eyes Read online

  “What kind of good things?” Adam asked, glancing around at the glass cubicle. “What more is there left in my life?”

  “I can’t tell you exactly what God would like to do for you. He has a different plan for each of us,” she admitted, “but you are a well-spoken, educated man. You can find a way to help other inmates get an education, you could learn to comfort the sick, even in here. You may one day become someone who spreads the word of God, and Christ, to other inmates.”

  “Me? Someone doing life for rape and murder? Your God would use me?” Adam was astonished, also intrigued.

  Nicole smiled, what an opening! “Let me tell you about a man named Saul. He was a man who persecuted the early Christians, in fact we’re told: As for Saul, he made havoc of the church, entering into every house, and haling men and women committed them to prison. Acts 8:3. And later we’re told: And Saul, breathing out threatenings and slaughter against the disciples of the Lord, went unto the high priest. Acts 9:1. So Saul was one of the worst, persecuting and killing the early Christians everywhere he could find them. He went to Damascus to find Christians and take them bound, back to Jerusalem. But something happened to him on the way.”

  “What happened?” Adam was intrigued in spite of himself.

  “On the way to Damascus, he saw a bright light from heaven and heard a voice. The voice said: Saul, Saul, why persecutest thou me? Saul asked, Who art thou Lord? And was answered, I am Jesus whom thou persecutest: it is hard for thee to kick against the pricks. Acts 9:4-5.” Nicole paused for a sip of water. “And then Saul was blind, and did not have anything to eat or drink for three days. A disciple named Ananias was told in a vision to go to Saul, and lay his hand on him to restore his sight. When his sight was restored, Saul rose and went to be baptized, and then began teaching about Jesus. People were stunned at the change in him. He was well known for persecuting the followers of Christ and now here he was, preaching about Christ!”

  She smiled. “And what preaching, he was amazing! He traveled all over, spreading the gospel. He was threatened, imprisoned, persecuted, and beaten. He changed his name to Paul, and he spread the word to Jews and Gentiles. He started several churches. Once, after being beaten and imprisoned, he converted the prison guard to Christianity.”

  She thumbed through her Bible. “And are you ready for this? In the Bible, the books of Romans, 1 Corinthians, 2 Corinthians, Galatians, Philippians, Colossians, 1 Thessalonians, 2 Thessalonians, Hebrews, 1 Timothy, 2 Timothy, Titus and Philemon are all letters Paul wrote to the early churches. So you see, God found a use for him.”

  “Before he was martyred for his faith in our Lord, Paul said: For I am now ready to be offered, and the time of my departure is at hand. I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith, 2 Timothy 4:6-7.” Nicole paused, tears in her eyes. “If He can use Saul, He can sure use you.”

  “I need to think about this,” Adam said softly. “Will you come back tomorrow?”

  “Yes, I will.” She was overjoyed. He had never requested her to visit him before.

  She placed her hand against the cool glass separating them. “Let us pray, and I will come back. Adam, would it be okay with you if I brought Pastor Mark with me?”

  “That would be good,” Adam agreed.

  “Heavenly Father,” Nicole prayed, “I’ve tried to help your child Adam, to show him your love. Please help him while he thinks about what we have talked about, give him your guidance, your love and your peace. I know he can do many good things with his life, even in this place. Show him a purpose. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.”

  She left, excited to get home and call Pastor Mark.

  Once she got home, she had several things to take care of before she called her pastor. Real life intruded. She had to feed her children and play with them. She had to go out and feed the horses and clean their stalls. Then she started fixing dinner for her husband.

  Once Troy came home she sat down to eat with him. Over dinner, she told him about her visit with Adam. He was cautious but optimistic, so they said a prayer before she called Pastor Mark.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand: repent ye, and believe the gospel.”

  (Mark 1:15)

  Nicole was excited as she called Pastor Mark that evening. She told him what she had said to Adam that day, and how he was thinking it over. She was almost positive he was ready to accept Christ. Pastor Mark agreed with her that it seemed encouraging, but he cautioned her not to get her hopes up.

  “He may teeter on the brink, not quite ready to take that step. There is a lot for him to consider and I’m sure he has several concerns. There are lots of Muslims in prison, just as there are of any group or faith. The Muslims will see his conversion to Christianity as apostasy. Many of them believe that apostasy is punishable by death. If he converts to Christianity he will have a huge target on his back,” he warned her. “Still, for his soul, accepting Christ is the best thing that could happen to him. I’ll pray for him, of course, but it has to be his choice, and he has to be clear about it.”

  “I can’t help feeling hopeful, but if I have to keep witnessing to him, I will,” Nicole assured him.

  “Are you still talking to him through a glass window?” the pastor asked.

  “Yes, at first that was how I wanted it, but now I feel ready to be in the same room with him but the superintendent said I still had to visit through the glass. I’d like to be able to be in the same room with him, but so far, no.”

  “Let me talk to the superintendent and I’ll come out and drive you to the prison tomorrow, okay?”

  “Sure, thanks, Pastor.” She hung up the phone.

  She and Troy sat out on their porch and sipped lemonade.

  “Want to go next door and swim?” he asked.

  “Let’s just relax here.” She reached out for his hand.

  As expected, Pastor Mark was as good as his word. When they arrived the next day, they were shown into a small visitor’s room with tables and chairs but no glass. She was told she would have to sit opposite Adam without touching him, but for the first time she was allowed to be in the same room with him. Nicole admitted to herself that even after all these months, she was still a little nervous about the thought of being so close to him. She knew that he had changed, even without accepting Christ, but he had injured her on such a deep level that it was hard to let it drop completely.

  Still, she was happy with the new arrangement, as much as she was glad for the comforting presence of Pastor Mark.

  Her smile was real and warm as she greeted Adam. “How are you today, Adam?”

  “I’m fine. Thank you for coming to see me again, Nicole,” he smiled at her, “and Pastor Mark. How are you both?”

  “We’re both fine,” the Pastor answered, “and very hopeful. Nicole said you were thinking about what she told you yesterday, about Saul and how he saw Jesus on the road to Damascus.”

  “Yes,” Adam said slowly, “and how he became Paul, and wrote many chapters of the Bible. I read some of those verses last night. He was remarkable.”

  “We believe everyone can be remarkable, in some way, if they believe in Jesus. I pastor a church and minister to men in this prison, but I’m stunned by Nicole. Her faith and the love of Christ that she has in her heart is overwhelming. I could understand it if she hated you. I would try to have her forgive you, but I could understand it. Can you?”

  “Honestly, if I were Nicole, I would be consumed by hatred.”

  “I’m not,” Nicole spoke up, “and believe me, I’m no saint. It was hard for me to forgive you, but I did. Hating you would consume me, that was a good way to put it. I would be filled with anger and hate and you would never have felt it. The hate would not hurt you, only me so I offered Jesus to you. He told us that if someone slaps you on one cheek, offer him the other. I had no other cheek to offer you so I offered you Jesus, instead.”

  “I wondered why you were
so intent on witnessing to him,” Pastor Mark said. “You went way past forgiving him, to the point of really caring for him. I find it amazing.”

  “So do I,” Adam admitted.

  “I’m not the important one here Adam, you are.” Nicole met his eyes with a direct look. “Are you ready to accept Christ as your Lord and Savior?”

  It seemed like forever before he answered in a firm but soft voice. “Yes, I am ready to accept Christ as my savior. I am ready to follow a God of love instead of hate, a God of forgiveness instead of judgment and revenge. I have been scared about making this decision because many of the Muslims in this prison will consider me guilty of apostasy, but I know in my heart that the dangers of converting to Christ are far less than the dangers of not converting.”

  He looked at Pastor Mark with a serious smile. “So, what do I do now?”

  “First, we pray together.” Pastor Mark grinned. “Then, we find out when we can baptize you.”

  “And we still meet with you to share our joy and worship,” Nicole added.

  “Guard,” Pastor Mark called him over. “Can we hold his hands, while we pray as he accepts Christ?”

  “Let me check.” The guard moved away and spoke into his radio, before returning. “The superintendent approved.”

  “So let us pray.” Pastor Mark reached out to grasp Adam’s hands, and Nicole did the same. “Heavenly Father, today we are blessed. Our brother Adam has asked for Christ to come into his life. Adam, pray with me. Heavenly Father...”

  Adam began to pray, repeating each phrase Pastor Mark said. “Heavenly Father, please come into my life. Let me know your son Jesus, and know that he died to pay for my sins. Let me feel the love of His sacrifice. I want to repent from my sins, and to be filled with His love. I want to learn to be more like Him, even knowing that I can never be perfect. I want to learn more and to try. Let Jesus, my Savior, who died for me, live in me forever. Amen.”

  As he prayed, Adam felt the power of the Lord move in him. Nicole, holding his hand, felt so moved that she had tears running down her face.

  Pastor Mark finished his simple prayer and said, “First I want to teach you about the Holy Communion. Jesus knew he would be betrayed and arrested. He knew that the Passover feast would be his last meal, so during the meal he took the bread, broke it and told the disciples, ‘Take eat, this is my body.’ And he prayed with the cup and passed it around saying, ‘This is my blood of the new testament, which is shed for many.’ So to this day, we take communion, which is a minuscule bit of bread, and a sip of grape juice, but which is, for the sacrament, the blood and body of Jesus which was shed to pay for our sins. Do you understand?”

  “Yes, I think I do,” Adam said quietly.

  “Would you like to take communion now?” Pastor Mark asked.

  “Yes, very much,” Adam replied. “Do you have what you need?”

  Pastor Mark reached into his pocket and brought out some small pre-packed communion packets. He handed one to Nicole, one to Adam and kept one for himself.

  “These aren’t very elegant, but their meaning is the same, and that makes it very holy,” Pastor Mark said.

  He turned to the guard and asked, “Would you care to take communion with us?”

  “Yes, Pastor. I’d be honored.” The guard walked over.

  The guard joined them at the table, and as Pastor Mark led the small group in a short prayer, they pulled back the plastic and ate the bit of bread that represented the body of Christ and sipped the juice that was his blood.

  “What do I do next,” Adam asked.

  “The next step, when you’re ready, is to be baptized,” Pastor Mark said.

  “What is that?” Adam asked.

  “Baptism is a way to openly promise to be a Christian for the rest of your life. By baptism you declare your faith in Him, and you repent of your past sins. Jesus himself was baptized by John the Baptist. As he was baptized, according to the Bible: And there came a voice from heaven saying, Thou art my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased. Mark 1:11.” Pastor Mark continued, “Jesus told Nicodemus: Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God. John 3:5. So after you’re baptized you can receive the Holy Spirit. What happens during baptism, is that the person who baptizes you immerses you in water and raises you back up to symbolize the end of your old life and your rebirth into a new life in Jesus.”

  “And then what’s next?” Adam wondered.

  “You read and study the Bible, pray, and you can join in our weekly Bible study and our Sunday services. Fellowship is an important part of being a Christian. In fact, we believe that whenever two or more Christians gather to worship, Jesus is there.”

  “That sounds good.” Adam looked at Nicole. “Does this mean you will stop visiting me?”

  “I will come as long as you want me to.” She smiled at him then pointed to her belly. “I may miss a few days when she is born, but I will keep coming.”

  “You know this baby is a girl?” Adam asked.

  “Yes, I had an ultrasound.” She kept up the gentle rubbing.

  “Is your husband happy,” Adam asked, “or does he want a son?”

  “We have a son,” she replied simply, “and a daughter. This baby will already have a brother and sister.”

  “How are they?” Adam asked quietly.

  “They are two now. They walk and stumble and talk gibberish. They keep me busy. I take them to work, and I have a nanny to help me with them.” She said proudly, “Troy treats them as his own. I don’t say that to hurt you, but I want you to know that they are loved and cared for.”

  “I’m glad. I know now how easy it would have been for you-”

  “Don’t even say it. I never could have, well, I did consider putting them up for adoption, but I felt them move inside me and I felt love.” She smiled softly. “Just like I feel love for this one.”

  “She was amazing. She never wavered in her love for the twins,” Pastor Mark said. “Now, back to you and your walk with Christ. We’ll teach you something about worship. First, a good place to study in the Old Testament is Psalms and Proverbs. I especially love the 23rd Psalm. Almost every Christian knows it well, it’s simple and elegant. It says: The Lord is my Shepard; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over: Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”

  “That is beautiful,” Adam admitted.

  “And another verse we follow is: Make a joyful noise unto God, all ye lands: Sing forth the honor of his name: make his praise glorious. Psalm 66:1-2. Many churches sing very old songs, very sedate and beautiful. Newer churches sing songs that are more like rock and roll, full of life and fun. I believe that if the words and spirit are right, either way is fine.”

  “Adam, when I come back, I’ll bring some songs on tape,” Nicole told him. “I’ll even bring you some Christian movies. We enjoy our faith. I am so happy for you right now, but I have to get home.”

  “One thing, Nicole,” Adam stopped her with his words. “When you visit next time, can I see pictures of my children?”

  “I was hoping you would ask to see both of your children and not just your son. Your daughter is beautiful, and he’s a good looking boy.” She pulled some pictures out of her pocket and showed them to the guard before handing them to Adam. “You can keep these as a gift for you on the day you accepted Christ.”

  “Thank you, Nicole, for more than I can ever tell you.” Adam had his own tears forming in his eyes.

  On her next visit, Nicole learned that Pastor Mark had set up a baptism ceremony for Adam i
n the prison chapel. As she watched he prayed with Adam, and read a few verses from the Bible. He read: “He said unto them, Have ye received the Holy Ghost since ye believed? And they said unto him, we have not so much as heard whether there be any Holy Ghost. And he said unto them, Unto what then were ye baptized? And they said unto John’s baptism. Then said Paul, John verily baptized with the baptism of repentance, saying unto the people, that they should believe on him which should come after him, that is, on Jesus Christ. When they heard this, they were baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus. Acts 19:2-5.” Pastor Mark paused for a breath. “Let’s pray.

  Heavenly Father, we rejoice in this man’s choice, of his free will to follow Christ, and to be baptized in His name. Bless him and keep him safe, let his faith grow, and help him find a new purpose and meaning to his life, in Jesus name we pray.”

  With that simple prayer he baptized Adam.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “Now the end of the commandment is charity out of a pure heart, and of a good conscience, and of faith unfeigned.”

  (1 Timothy 1:5)

  A few months after Adam’s conversion, as Nicole’s pregnancy advanced, she cut down her visits to once a week. Between her new business and the pregnancy it was just too hard on her to drive out to the prison. One day though, she was especially excited to go visit Adam. She had spent the previous afternoon at home on one of the rare days when she and Troy had the same afternoon off.

  Cassie was over riding Burgie and getting him ready for a show next weekend. Since she had started showing him, she’d done very well winning lots of ribbons and several trophies. When she was done, she rinsed off Burgie and put him on the hotwalker. Troy was unsaddling Ted, but he hadn’t ridden hard enough to make him sweaty. The twins were excited, talking gibberish and pointing at the horses. Nicole stood up and walked over to the saddling rack with them.